11.22.2010

High Places

"I heard, and my body trembled, My lips quivered at the voice; Rottenness entereth into my bones, and I tremble in my place; Because I must wait quietly for the day of trouble, For the coming up of the people that invadeth us. For though the fig-tree shall not flourish, Neither shall fruit be in the vines; The labor of the olive shall fail, And the fields shall yield no food; The flock shall be cut off from the fold, And there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in Jehovah, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Jehovah, the Lord, is my strength; And he maketh my feet like hinds' feet, And will make me to walk upon my high places." Habakkuk 3:16-19

Two weeks ago, this verse described my life; I heard some news that I never thought I would have to hear. My body trembled with anxiety, my lips quivered as I sat on my couch and cried, and rottenness and disgust filled my bones. 
I was so hurt, so incredibly hurt.
The day after my heart was dead, there was no life in me whatsoever, I was in total and complete despair and felt so very empty...."For though the fig-tree shall not flourish, Neither shall fruit be in the vines; The labor of the olive shall fail, And the fields shall yield no food; The flock shall be cut off from the fold, And there shall be no herd in the stalls"...
But now, I have reached the point of rejoicing in my Jehovah, because He is my salvation. He is my strength! Though there may be pain and hurt, I rejoice because He is Mine and I am His. 

And now...the greatest news of all....
He will make me walk in high places! My future is in His hands and if I obey Him, His Word, and His plan for my life.... I will walk in high places and have one amazing future!

As Thanksgiving approaches, I could not be more thankful to Him who showed me what I needed to see. I asked for the truth to be revealed and He was so incredibly faithful. Although the sting is still there, and the wound is still open and hurting, I know that my Lord loves me and has some amazing things in store for my heart and for my life.

I am also so very thankful to my pastor and mentor Sam Bhatt who is walking this journey with me, along with SO many amazing amazing friends. He is the one who showed me this passage and helped me understand it! (I would never have thought that the book of Habakkuk was so great, ha!)

11.09.2010

The first snow and my heart aches

It's snowing right now....the first snow of the year. It's so absolutely beautiful and peaceful. Yet, I don't seem to be enjoying it as much as I want to. My heart is broken. My eyes are swollen from crying the past two days. I'm running on about 7 hours of sleep in the past, um, since Sunday at about 6pm. Sin is gross. People's sin is gross and destructive. Lying and keeping things hidden for months and months hurts my heart. I will never understand people's choices. I will never understand why I didn't seem to be enough. I will though, trust that the Lord is good and His mercies are new every morning. He has my best interest at heart and He loves me unconditionally. But it will take a lot of time to heal and be whole again. And to be able to trust again....I don't really know when that's going to take place, but I know it will one day.

Yet in my brokenness....I will praise and trust you Lord...

11.03.2010

Bored at work means......

finding more fun pictures :) Sorry if I bore you with random picture blogs, but I just love photos!

Don't these look absolutely YUMMY!

Hm...so good

I have a thing for lanterns
Oh boy, so true...in my opinion at least

Such a CUTE and fun, and tasty idea!

I would like these two puppies please

One day, I want to capture a moment like this

Halloween is one of my most favorite times to go to Disneyland. Christmas is #1 and always will be!


Pretty much the greatest Halloween movie ever.

So lovely

Good ole Cali! Hopefully I can make it back there next summer

I will make my dogs do this one day too. HA!
So so true

Just thought it was quite humorous

I think there will be a picture of books every time I do this. I just love books

I'm stealing this idea

Let's go on a vacation here!

Beautiful

Pretty tree

Pictures like this make me feel so blessed to have the name Autumn.

Candy Corn anyone?

Paris Toms? I think I shall own a pair one day
Leaves, leaves, and more leaves

A good reminder for my head. Yesterday is just that....yesterday.

One of my favorite movies

Life is quite the journey if I may say so myself

Amen

I would LOVE to be that person on the bike. What a ride that would be!

This little piggy went to the market...
 
What's the best part about rain? Playing in the puddles. Duh!

I could kiss him right between the eyes

Not a kitty fan, but this one is oh so stinkin' adorable!

What's on my mind? In N Out. It'll be a year in December since I've tasted such an amazing burger.

11.01.2010

November 1st- A miss-mash of thoughts

I can't believe it's November 1st already!! Where has the year gone? 2010 is almost over and another year will begin. CRAZY! I love the months of November and December. Thanksgiving Day will be here before we know it and then CHRISTMAS! My favorite season of all :)

Halloween came and went. I really am not a huge fan of Halloween...probably because I've never really had a fun one, haha. So last night, I stayed home, watched a movie, organized my closet and paperwork, and cleaned my kitchen. Not as fun as it could have been, but it's okay...there's always next year :) Oh, but the best part of Halloween is watching my childhood favorite movie, "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown." I can't wait to have kids so they can watch it with me!!

One thing that's been on my mind (again) a lot lately are friends from CA. Okay, so I'm sure there are friends from there that read this, so don't get offended, but I have to ask something....Why is it that I seem to be the only one who travels back and forth? Granted, it's only been a few times since I've moved, but I'm constantly getting posts on my facebook wall or messages from people asking when I'm coming out again. And to be honest, I don't think I have to be the one that goes out there all the time. I moved OUT of the Antelope Valley...and really have no desire to go back. I know my Dad and brother live there, and I'm definitely going to see them (and my Grandma who I love so much), but I don't understand why my friends can't seem to write, "Hey, I wanna come to Colorado and I want to stay with you!" Do you know how many people said they were going to come out and visit?! A whole list of people...and HOW many have come out? Uno. One friend that I never thought would be the first one to come out. Anyways, Colorado is SO much prettier and fun then the dumb old AV and no one really seems to take the time to call or talk to me anymore....so, all that to say....if you miss me and want to see me, get on a damn plane and fly here ;)

And there you have it...my miss mash of thoughts for the day!
Peace and Love