11.09.2010

The first snow and my heart aches

It's snowing right now....the first snow of the year. It's so absolutely beautiful and peaceful. Yet, I don't seem to be enjoying it as much as I want to. My heart is broken. My eyes are swollen from crying the past two days. I'm running on about 7 hours of sleep in the past, um, since Sunday at about 6pm. Sin is gross. People's sin is gross and destructive. Lying and keeping things hidden for months and months hurts my heart. I will never understand people's choices. I will never understand why I didn't seem to be enough. I will though, trust that the Lord is good and His mercies are new every morning. He has my best interest at heart and He loves me unconditionally. But it will take a lot of time to heal and be whole again. And to be able to trust again....I don't really know when that's going to take place, but I know it will one day.

Yet in my brokenness....I will praise and trust you Lord...

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