12.30.2010

Christmas Memories

So, this post will end up being super long, I'm sure. A lot has happened in the past week that I just want to share it all :) Hope that's okay with everyone....all 4 followers that is...and the random people who have read my blog in other countries! Did you know that blogger tells you the "stats" of your blog?! Probably. Well, I just found this feature last week and it made me so excited! I loved seeing that people in other countries came across my blog. I would love for that to happen more often...maybe it will!

Anyways....
The 23rd was a pretty fantastic day. I got to see and visit with my Mom who I hadn't seen in almost a year. A YEAR! Living in the same city, we never ran into each other ever...this amazes me. But I truly believe it was God's perfect timing. He knew when our hearts would be ready to see each other and not argue over the past. You see, it's been hard with my Mom. We are so much like each other (opinionated, hard-headed, stubborn, argumentative...all the qualities that I absolutely hate about myself), that when we were with each other and we would try to talk about anything important, we would just clash and get upset at each other. This is why I decided not to have a relationship with her for awhile...because there was still SO much hurt from her leaving, that there was no way that I was ready to see her or talk to her. Well, the Lord put it on my heart to get her a gift for Christmas, since last year we just sent each other a text. I got her an incredible book by Brennan Manning called, "The Furious Longing of God." Pretty much...I read it in one day. I sure hope she reads it and it softens her heart just a little more! So, I texted her, told her that I had a present for her and that I wanted to see her before Christmas. She texted back and told me when she would be home and I said, "alrighty, I'm coming over!" I was SO nervous and prayed for hours before I actually went over to her place. I sent out a text to some of my closest friends to be praying and was prayed over by my wonderful friends Karla and Brandon before I drove over to Moms apartment. It was another one of those amazing moments from the Lord where I totally and completely felt His presence and His peace. Mom and I talked for hours about school, work, my breakup, church, daily life...I told her about my awful 21st birthday, that I got my bellybutton pierced, and will be getting my tattoo for my 22nd birthday. She told me about her life and what's been going on in the past year. Nothing about what happened was talked about, we both are not ready to talk about anything really important. It was nice to just chat about life though! I do miss my Mom....very much. We may not ever have that close relationship, and she may never be that Mom that I truly desire (not that I don't love my Mom...don't read too much into that), but who am I to doubt what the Lord has in store. She really liked the book and said she would read it, so now, my prayer is that she does read it and it speaks to her. The next time we'll see each other is for my birthday...and I think slowly we'll see each other a little more and maybe within 2011, we can start working through the hurt we are still carrying.

In other news:
My Dad and brother drove out from California to spend Christmas with me. That was such a blessing! We spent Christmas Eve together; Dad and Tanner got to visit my church and meet everyone. Even Tanner said that the service was "really good, one of the best." Now, that my friends, is AMAZING! Then after church, we were all so very hungry, so where else to spend Christmas Eve other than.....On the Border. Yes, that's right folks, Mexican food for holiday dinner. That'll never happen again! I have no idea where my brain was, but I didn't even think about Christmas Eve dinner! Next year, I'll make a delicious meal, so we don't have to do that again. It was fun, but just not the same. As Dad said, "just think of it as new traditions!" haha :)
Christmas Day the three of us enjoyed each others company as we opened up presents. There was much laughter and happiness! So much better than last year! Then we spent the rest of the day over at my Aunt and Uncles house with my cousins and Grandma (who I also haven't seen in over a year). We ate an amazing dinner, laughed, shared stories, exchanged gifts, ate lots of pie, took tons of pictures, and watched Christmas Vacation. It really was a great Christmas!

I was so blessed this Christmas season! I got to see my Mom, spend time with my Dad and brother, see my Grandma, have tons of fun with my cousins, ate so much food, and was reminded that Jesus is more than just a baby...He is the Saviour of the World! There were no tears, no hurting heart, no missing the things of the past...just true joy and love!

I pray you all had a very Merry Christmas as well!

3 comments:

  1. Autumn so happy to hear about God moving in your and your Mom. Love His perfect timing. It gives me hope to see some kind of restoration with my brother and his family. Keep your eyes on the Lord and He will direct your path.

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  2. Autumn so glad to hear you had a good Christmas! I'll be praying for you and your family! Love you pretty lady stay strong.

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  3. Autumn ~ Thank for sharing your blog with us and opening up your heart.. It was a blessing, as I sat reading your blog ~ I just sat thanking the Lord for His wonderful faithfulness to you and your heart, and your family.

    I am so proud of you! Your steadfastness in walking with Jesus (not that it is not without struggles at times) but staying in love with Him ( the lover of your soul) and following Him.. Stay strong in Him ~ young lady!!!
    He is using you in awesome ways ~ as a wonderful testimony ! To what a great and awesome God that He is !!

    I will continue to pray for you and your family.

    Keep your eyes on Him ~ and may this year ahead hold many joys and blessings for you

    Hugs and Prayers,
    Aunt Janet

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