12.17.2010

Distant

With each passing day, you become more of a distant memory.
A distant memory that seems so far away, yet still so very close.
I cannot fully explain what this feels like.
But believe me.
It's quite uncanny.
As I scroll through pictures and I see your lips touching mine,
I'm left sitting here wondering,
"Did I ever really know you?"
It's a mystery to me.
A mystery that I may never be able to solve.

"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind..."

Do I feel as distant to you as you do me?
I never thought that it would end this way.
I didn't see it coming.
But I do see the good that's coming from it.
I see His faithfulness.
I feel Him pursuing me.
Love.
True love.
From the only One who can fill me.

As the memories fade from my mind,
there's not a day that goes by that I don't pray for you.

"It is the difficult and the unexpected, and maybe even the tragic, that opens us up and frees us to see things in new ways. Many of the most significant moments in our lives come not because it all went right but because it all fell apart. Suffering does that. It hurts, but it also creates."

This is a significant moment in my life.
Because it all fell apart.
Everything I knew and wanted...
fell.
But that's okay.
Because with those fallen pieces,
God is creating something whole.
Beautiful.
Mysterious.

To you:
You know who you are.
Thank you.
You may not understand why I say that.
Not yet.
But maybe, just maybe,
One day
You will.

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