3.21.2011

On a night...

Have you ever had one of those nights where you just feel the Lord's presence all over you and all over the room? Have you ever wondered what it's going to be like when all believers are swept away to Heaven to worship Him forever and ever? Have you ever been on your knees immersed in total worship surrounded by a group of twenty-somethings speaking in tongues...lost in the moment of seeing His face...feeling Him ever so present...crying out with all your heart and mind to have the chains of the past broken, to see your family saved, for a boldness in your faith that only He can supply you with?

I have.

Last night. 
And by golly gee, it was one of, if not the best and most powerful, worship nights I have ever experienced. 

You see....best friend invited me to go with him to a college group called "The Table" at one of the local churches here in the Springs. I was hesitant at first, but decided to go because he was going to get baptized and I wanted to be there for that beautiful moment of saying goodbye to the old, yucky him and saying "Welcome" to the new, Christ-filled him. Well, sadly, the baptism part didn't happen....not sure why, but I'm sure it'll take place another night. I invited my future roommate and dear friend, Ryann, to come along as well! So incredibly blessed that she did...because I just love her to pieces. 

The three of us...
in the midst of faces...
arms raised high...
tears flowing....
worshiping the One who conquered death...
the One who I was created to worship....
the One who loved me so stinkin' much that He gave His life for me.

Worship has always had a special place in my life. Growing up in church, I've heard so many teachings on worship, what it means to worship, why you're supposed to worship, how you're supposed to worship...and the list can keep going. Teachings are great...don't get me wrong. I love studying the Bible more than anything, BUT there's just something about engaging in worship that I gravitate towards. I go to theMill (the college group at New Life Church) every Friday night...why? Because of the worship. I listen to worship music all the time, in my car, in my apartment, at work. There was a time in my life that I led worship with my best friend back in California. I still would love to be on a worship team again someday...maybe :)  But I realized last night...I can listen to all the messages I want to about worship, go to theMill every single week for the rest of my life, download worship music on iTunes every day, but it wasn't until I actually experienced abandoned worship (wholly free without restraint worship) that I now understand what it truly means to worship Him

And in the moment of complete silence from the band...voices.
Voices of those who were worshiping their Savior...
Voices of those speaking in tongues...
Voices crying out to JESUS!
Prayers murmured throughout the room...
Silent and out loud....
The sound of tears flowing...
A night that my heart has needed for a long time...
A night to just sit in His presence, lay everything down at His feet, and say, "Okay Lord. Do yo' thang!" Haha, just kidding...but really :)

Because of last night's experience, I do believe I got a a very small glimpse of what it's going to be like in Heaven, every moment of every day...Worshiping Him! Forever.

This makes my heart so very full. And even though this morning was frustrating and I had lots of things on my mind (things that really didn't matter at all), my heart was still full to the brim of His joy and His love. 

I surrendered a lot to Him last night...
Asked Him a lot of questions...
Sincerely desired to be done away with the things of the past (all the pain, hurt, lies, betrayal, etc)...
and look forward to the amazing things about to happen in the very near future...
And...I saw something I've desired to see for three years...
Maybe...just maybe...in time, of course, the deepest aching of my heart and the yearning of my inter-most being will come to pass.

We shall see.
Since it's all been surrendered to Him...
on a night of purely, truly, and wholly worshiping my King, my Creator, my Father.

My prayer: "Jesus! You are so worthy of our praise. I am so unworthy of Your love and forgiveness. Thank you. Thank you for Your body and Your blood poured out for me. May my life bring You praise and glory every day that I am blessed to breathe. May the words that flow out of my mouth, drip with Your love. Show me how to love like you, how to turn my back on the things of this world, and shine as a light, not afraid of what people will say or do, but with boldness...shine...for You. I am amazed at how much you love such a wretched person, yet you call me lovely, beautiful, Your daughter. I love you. Wholeheartedly...and I can't wait till I'm with You, worshiping You for all eternity."



This was the song we sang during communion and WHEW! never have I experienced such an intense, amazing, authentic communion. Communion has become so ritualistic that I believe it's lost it's authenticity over the years. Christians gotta get back to the root of it and what it really, truly means to partake of Christ's body and blood. This is an honor, not to be taken lightly...at all. It's all about His love. Period.

"When only love could make a way, You gave Your life in a beautiful exchange."

No comments:

Post a Comment