Thankful: feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative. 

I have so many things to be thankful for.... 

My Jesus who loves me no matter what, who has called me His own, who desires me, who pursues me, who watches over me, who has redeemed me. My life is not my own.

A Dad who has been the rock in my life, who loves me, who has raised me to love Jesus, who fights for me, who protects me, who provides and takes care of me.

A Mom....who doesn't understand how much I truly do love her, but because of life situations, have decided to put up boundaries. Who taught me all of the foundational truths I stand on today. I miss you.

A little brother who is 4ft+ taller than me, who makes me laugh, who I miss terribly and want nothing more than to just have a close relationship with.

A man, James, who has taught me more about Christ's redemption and healing power than anyone else I know, who has been in my life since the week I moved to Colorado, who has become my best friend, who loves me even through my weaknesses, who understands me even when I don't make sense, who has challenged me to become a better woman, who I love so much.

A mentor who is like a Mom to me, who is there for me always, listens to me vent and cry and always has words of wisdom to help guide me. Really...I don't know what I would do without her in my life.

James' family that has become my family. I got to spend Thanksgiving with them and I felt right at home. I am so so blessed to know this family that have graciously welcomed me in as one of their own.

Roommates who have become some of my best friends. Girls that have taught me how to love the Lord deeper, who have challenged me to be more patient, who make me laugh more than I ever thought I could, who have seen my tears and have been there to listen. Amazing girls!

A job that is more than I could ask for. An organization that is changing the hearts and lives of children and adults across America...and I get to play a very small part in it. Co-workers that have become friends so quickly...and some of the best lunch breaks I've ever had. 

Chris and Michelle Rosenhahn. Some of my favorite people ever! Chris who is no less than an older brother to me (and makes me laugh non-stop) and Chelle who has been there for me through thick and thin, hugged me when I needed it, cried with me, and has been nothing but a faithful friend. I don't know what I would do without these two in my life.

Tyler and Kaci Krause. Friends who have seen the best side and the worst side of me. My go-to people when something in life goes wrong. Friends who have prayed with me through the hard times. Kaci...who gives the best lectures ; ) but really...I've learned so so much through all the talks we've had. And now their going to be PARENTS! Getting to watch their faith through the pregnancy process and the beginning of next year, getting to see them with a new baby girl, my heart could not be more excited for them!

Matt and Leah Tisthammer...becoming more than friends...mentors who speak life into James and I. As our relationships develop and more time is spent with them, the love they have for married couples and advancing the Kingdom with healthy marriages is more than apparent. I can't wait to walk out life with them and with their wisdom!

These are just a few people in my life that I am so incredibly thankful. I wouldn't be the person I am today without them. And to have them in my life until my life is over...I couldn't ask for anything more. 


Almost 2 Months later...

I feel like the past two months have been a whirlwind.
It feels like I haven't had a moment to just sit and write. I miss this. My mind has been running on all cylinders day in and day out. Blogging was my way of getting my emotions off my chest and thoughts out of my head. I miss this. My job is a full-time, sit in front of the computer all day job, and please don't get me wrong, I love where I work and I am so incredibly blessed to work for such an amazing organization, but once I get home, the last thing I want to do is sit in front of the computer. I need to make time for blogging though. It's a must. I drive myself crazy with everything that happens inside of my head. Be thankful that you (whomever you are) are not me. James tells me all the time to, "just stop thinking"....but I just can't. And thus, blogging. My outlet. I journal, which is great. But let's be honest...I type a lot faster than I write. So, here's to, hopefully, getting back into the habit of blogging...at least once a week :) We'll see!

Hmmmm...so, what have I been up to since October 7th?

A lot. 

Birthday parties, new job, family arguments, talk of engagement (oops...did that come out?), Halloween, learning about life, marriage, and how to forgive...and what grace and hope and His redemption is all about.

Life is quite the adventure. Most days, I feel like a 40 year old woman, wrapped up in a 22 year old's body, who, although has learned and grown SO much, has so much more to learn and won't stop learning till I'm on my death bed. Some days I look in the mirror and think to myself how much older I look than I should (this is probably just me that thinks this)...but I think that the stress of life has started taking it's tole on me and I don't look like a 22 year old. Ridiculous. I know. James just laughs when I tell him this...and rightfully so...it's complete non-sense. But the battles of stress, anxiety, and fear do take a tole on a person's life. 

As I sit here and think about the past (almost) two months, I almost don't even know where to begin.

I guess the best place to start is...with how much more I've fallen in love with James. How much more depth there is to us and to him. I was telling a co-worker and now a friend of mine just the other night how the James that she knows now, is not the James I knew just a little over a year ago. James lived two lives...one filled with lies, manipulation, sex, and more lies....and one that I saw, a James I thought would never hurt me and loved me and would never leave me. Now, I don't want to talk about the past, you can read all about that in my previous blogs and on his blog...but I say all that because of the Lord doing such an incredible work in James and through James. It's a true miracle that we are together again. It's a true miracle that God changed my heart. It's a true miracle that God changed James' life. Redemption is such a beautiful thing. The Lord even says in His word, "Fear not, I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, You are Mine." I think some of the most beautiful words that I have ever heard are those right there. The Lord redeems. He calls us by name. We are His creation. It was by His blood that we are able to live in freedom. The Lord's all about redemption. This was something that hit me so hard the beginning of this year that I got it tattooed on my body..."Beautifully Redeemed." Because of Christ's redemption story....and the redemption He has so graciously bestowed upon James and I's relationship, I have fallen more and more in love with this man. A man that broke all trust, yet fought to build it all back up. A man that lied, but turned it all around to share the truth (even the ugly truths) and live a life of honesty. A man that makes me want to be a better woman. A man that encourages me. A man that I love so so deeply.

I have so much more to write about...but if I were to write it all out, this post would be the longest post ever! So, I guess that means that I just have to get back to writing :) 

That's all for now :)